Habits

24 February 2015

I have a habit of only writing to deal with my feelings. I only need to deal with bad feelings, which can naturally make it seem from my journal that I'm just constantly depressed. So today I want to challenge myself to write a purely positive text for once. I'm going to try and save any negative nuances for a later post.

The past few weeks have been really good. I'm still alone, but that's okay, I don't need anything more than what I have now. I have a great job, I have people I can talk to. I'm going to LA for a week next month, even. I'm fucking twenty years old and I'm doing this shit. I don't have any reason to complain.

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Materialism

19 October 2014

There seems to be a harmful degree of scientific fundamentalism. I've always upheld the principles of pure materialism, or rather physicalism. The idea that everything, including our consciousness, is an emergent property from the interactions of neurons and nothing more. This is a comforting philosophy because it implies that we can one day come to understand how the brain works entirely. However, that ignores the fact that it would be logically impossible to understand yourself that way. For the same reason that you can't put a bigger box inside a smaller box without changing its shape, you can't fully understand your brain with your brain. In addition, every single moment, your brain is essentially rewriting itself, which is how memory works. I never acknowledged this.

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Contradictions

06 September 2014

The one thing I always have been and still am obsessed with is the workings of my own mind. I spend close to every waking moment of my life thinking about that in one way or another. I suppose it's because there's no real right or wrong answer. A lot of science is relatively rigid, but psychology is a whole different matter. However, this is also what makes it really frustrating, because I want to understand.

I've lived my life under one creed: knowledge is power. I always thought that the more I knew, …something would improve. It just seems obvious that more knowledge is always better. You have more to work with, more to make decisions with. However, there is one thing that the human mind is incapable of sustaining rationally. Contradictions. And my brain is filled with them.

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