There seems to be a harmful degree of scientific fundamentalism. I've always upheld the principles of pure materialism, or rather physicalism. The idea that everything, including our consciousness, is an emergent property from the interactions of neurons and nothing more. This is a comforting philosophy because it implies that we can one day come to understand how the brain works entirely. However, that ignores the fact that it would be logically impossible to understand yourself that way. For the same reason that you can't put a bigger box inside a smaller box without changing its shape, you can't fully understand your brain with your brain. In addition, every single moment, your brain is essentially rewriting itself, which is how memory works. I never acknowledged this.
The one thing I always have been and still am obsessed with is the workings of my own mind. I spend close to every waking moment of my life thinking about that in one way or another. I suppose it's because there's no real right or wrong answer. A lot of science is relatively rigid, but psychology is a whole different matter. However, this is also what makes it really frustrating, because I want to understand.
I've lived my life under one creed: knowledge is power. I always thought that the more I knew, …something would improve. It just seems obvious that more knowledge is always better. You have more to work with, more to make decisions with. However, there is one thing that the human mind is incapable of sustaining rationally. Contradictions. And my brain is filled with them.
I’m going to start this off with a disclaimer. I am a young, naive, depressed guy with autism. I spend a lot of time pretending, or trying to make people think that that’s not what I am. I’m not intending to do that now. What I am going to write probably seems lame, naive, cheesy, obvious, angsty. I don’t care. I am all of those things. This is also more of a diary entry than anything else. I’m writing this to get a bunch of stuff out of my head. Who knows, maybe you’ll like it.
This actually came to me while listening to James Blunt’s new album. The specific music isn’t really that important, it’s about the lyrics. I happen to love his music because I love the lyrics. Most of them are love songs or close to it, which is exactly why they appeal to me.